this did not happen yesterday

passed out before the bottle emptied, woke covered in chalk dust and stuck on spin for a day and a half, depleted and even that didn't make it quit.

rejected reject, someone once said.

without i am like i was back then, a long time ago: lying in the sun, grass scratching at my shoulders, book laid open, laughing at 10:47. walking on the edges of everything, not afraid to fall, i put flowers in my hair, hang beads from my wrist, wear colors that don't beg me to hide and used to blind me with their light.

with i am only without.

there are only two options available:

swallow faster, or laugh harder.

picking flowers and stringing beads, i will find my way out.